Thursday, February 16, 2017

ANTIOCH WASP EXCLUSIVE!!! Woman Magically Imparts Personhood On Her Kidney-Stones

Woman Magically Imparts Personhood On Her Kidney Stones

ST. PETERSBURG, FA.- According to sources close to the local woman Angela Karter, the pro-choice supporter magically transferred personhood to her kidney stones yesterday afternoon. 

Karter claims that upon realizing the magical powers of her vagina, she decided to perform a simple experiment.  After swabbing some of her vagina juice, she applied them to her pile of wasted body parts and they immediately turned into people!! 

"I figured if my vagina can turn a clump of cells into a person, it might work on my kidney stones!" she told reporters. "Good thing, too! I was just about to throw them away..."

Protesters are lining the streets demanding that the kidney stones possessed life before their unprecedented baptism, much to the chagrin of Karter and her new babies. "The only way a clump of cells can have life before passing through the enchanted vaginal fluid is if the woman decides it does, which I certainly didn't." she scientifically reminds them.  "I didn't want babies then." 

Upon asking Dr. Brian Hampton M.D., her assertion was confirmed. "Prior to passing through the vaginal fluids, a clump of cells remains exactly that: a clump of cells. If the mother decides she wants to keep said clump of cells, however, it supernaturally turns into a person and we will do our utmost to ensure it's safe passage into this world." 

Witnesses confirm that Dr. Hampton while assists women in the removal of kidney stones on a regular basis, he simultaneously goes to great lengths to save those chosen for life, even going as far as performing emergency surgery on those who would otherwise been deemed insentient. 

Karter and her babies are faring well. Her only regret is that "...the decision is irreversible. I can randomly decide whether or not a clump of cells is alive, but once it has been anointed with vaginal fluids, it forever remains a person."  


Women's Rights for All!!!!

Ladies, we need to talk women's rights. 

We need to be willing to take the time to look past the propaganda and see the facts, the real exploitation, the real oppression, the real hard truth of the rampant misogyny in this world. Why? Because it is bad. Really bad. And we need to be aware of the facts if we're going to know which fights are worth fighting and which are a waste of time.

I have never been one to beat around the bush, so let's cut the crap. We care about jobs, we care about sexual abuse, we care about a lot of things. But when we talk women's rights... first and foremost, we're talking about reproductive rights. I mean, really? Who wants to spend 9 months of their life in slavery to a clump of cells with no life, no rights, and no feeling only to have to go through the agony of bringing it into the world where... suddenly.. it is a life we are responsible for simply because we decided to have a little harmless fun? 

Let's talk about abortion and how it benefits us. How it frees us. How it breaks the chains of a patriarchal society that is determined to keep us in our place.

I like visuals... so let's use this one of 100 sexy lips (I would have used pink women symbols, but pink is so ridiculously sexist... so I'm going to use these sex-laden symbols as a way of visually demonstrating our freedom from objectification), each symbolizing a woman getting an abortion according to statistics:

100 women walk into Planned Parenthood to get an abortion (busy clinic!!). 55 are white (highlighted in pink), 35 are black (highlighted in black), 7 are other races (blue), and 3 refrain from saying (white). (1) 

Now, compare these numbers to American demographics. 72.4% white, 12.6 % black, 15% other. WAIT!! There is a huge discrepancy there between the two! Take 2 seconds to check, and you'll see a waaay higher percentage of black people are getting abortions than white people. Of course, this because white people are much more likely to be wealthy enough to afford a baby, therefore making abortion a boom to the black community. This way they can abort their fetuses and move on with their lives with a greater chance of success. It benefits the black community in NYC to have more abortions than live births (2). Indeed, Margaret Sanger, founder of Planned Parenthood, was right when she said concerning blacks: "There is only one cure... and that is to stoop breeding these things. Stop bringing to birth children whose inheritance cannot be one of health or intelligence. Stop bringing into the world children whose parents cannot provide for them."(3) Planned Parenthood is doing the black community a great favor by targeting them (4), by accepting funds directed towards black abortions only (5), and by making 40% of their money exclusively off black abortions (6). Racial targeting is HORRIBLE... unless we agree that it is for their benefit. I mean, overpopulation is such a problem it would be great if we could some donors to target all people groups! They tell you that the entire world population can fit in the state of Texas, that the world produces enough carbs alone to give each person 3,500 calories (1500 more than recommended by the FDA) daily, and that some countries are only using 10% of their farmable land while the rest is left to waste, but don't listen to them. (7) They're just ignorant. 

Back to our group of ladies. Out of the 100 women sitting in the waiting room, 64 want to keep their baby but feel forced by society, circumstances, or their loved ones. (8) 

Good thing, too. Everyone knows that moms who want to keep their babies are just deluded. Babies ruin your body, and therefore your life. Without that sexy bod, you know that the patriarchal workforce won't accept you in. You're better off flaunting your curves and working your feminine power over them then having that baby you desired so much. Babies take away 9 months of your life!!! 9 whole months!! I mean, I could go through 4 live-in boyfriends in that time!! It's not worth giving up 9 months of your life for some fetus. My sister wanted to keep her clump of cells, so we all called it a baby and celebrated it with her, that's what you do. But, to force a woman to make the most difficult and heart-breaking decision of her life against her will totally isn't violating her rights. She just doesn't know better. 

Of those 100 women, 10 will experience immediate complications (black), one-fifth of those being life-threatening (gray) (10).

All of those 100 women are 62% more likely to commit suicide (11), almost twice as likely to contact Breast Cancer (12), over twice as likely to contract Cervical, Ovarian, and Liver Cancer (13), 200% more likely to miscarry in the future (14), are 200-1700% more likely to suffer placenta previa in future pregnancy, 80% more likely to visit their doctors for other physical problems, and 180% more likely to develop psychological problems (15). Besides all that, everyone knows that abortions are totally safe and a great alternative to potentially deadly natural process known as childbirth... even though abortion is the 5th highest cause of maternal deaths. (16)... Moving on! 

So, as you can see, abortion is a super safe way to stop yourself from having to sacrifice your body for 9 months for something that only idiots argue is life... even though it has all the organs (including uterus and ovaries) of an adult at 10 weeks. With abortion,  women are set free from being forced into a life they don't want and racial discrimination is brought to it's knees. It would be ridiculous to fight against it. 

3. "What Every Boy and Girl Should Know" by Margaret Sanger
10.Frank,, "Induced Abortion Operations and Their Early Sequelae", Journal of the Royal College of General Practitioners (April 1985),35(73):175-180; Grimes and Cates, "Abortion: Methods and Complications", Human Reproduction, 2nd ed., 796-813; M.A. Freedman, "Comparison of complication rates in first trimester abortions performed by physician assistants and physicians," Am. J. Public Health, 76(5):550- 554 (1986).
12. H.L. Howe, et al., "Early Abortion and Breast Cancer Risk Among Women Under Age 40," International Journal of Epidemiology 18(2):300-304 (1989); L.I. Remennick, "Induced Abortion as A Cancer Risk Factor: A Review of Epidemiological Evidence," Journal of Epidemiological Community Health, (1990); M.C. Pike, "Oral Contraceptive Use and Early Abortion as Risk Factors for Breast Cancer in Young Women," British Journal of Cancer 43:72 (1981).
13.  M-G, Le, et al., "Oral Contraceptive Use and Breast or Cervical Cancer: Preliminary Results of a French Case- Control Study, Hormones and Sexual Factors in Human Cancer Etiology, ed. JP Wolff, et al., Excerpta Medica: New York (1984) pp.139-147; F. Parazzini, et al., "Reproductive Factors and the Risk of Invasive and Intraepithelial Cervical Neoplasia," British Journal of Cancer, 59:805-809 (1989); H.L. Stewart, et al., "Epidemiology of Cancers of the Uterine Cervix and Corpus, Breast and Ovary in Israel and New York City," Journal of the National Cancer Institute 37(1):1-96; I. Fujimoto, et al., "Epidemiologic Study of Carcinoma in Situ of the Cervix," Journal of Reproductive Medicine 30(7):535 (July 1985); N. Weiss, "Events of Reproductive Life and the Incidence of Epithelial Ovarian Cancer," Am. J. of Epidemiology, 117(2):128-139 (1983); V. Beral, et al., "Does Pregnancy Protect Against Ovarian Cancer," The Lancet, May 20, 1978, pp. 1083-1087; C. LaVecchia, et al., "Reproductive Factors and the Risk of Hepatocellular Carcinoma in Women," International Journal of Cancer, 52:351, 1992.
14. Barrett, et al., "Induced Abortion: A Risk Factor for Placenta Previa", American Journal of Ob&Gyn. 141:7 (1981).
15. Ney,, "The Effects of Pregnancy Loss on Women's Health," Soc. Sci. Med. 48(9):1193-1200, 1994; Badgley, Caron, & Powell, Report of the Committee on the Abortion Law, Supply and Services, Ottawa, 1997: 319-321.
16. Kaunitz, "Causes of Maternal Mortality in the United States," Obstetrics and Gynecology, 65(5) May 1985.