Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Pinterest Done-Its: DIY Magazine Envelopes

Today, I decided that maybe it might be a good idea to actually utilize all the pins I have on my Pinterest boards instead of just adding more.

So, I'm starting a series of "Pinterest Done-Its" so you can follow my progress.

I started this off with DIY Magazine Envelopes. I've done something similar to this before, but they never quite worked out. So, I gave it another go.

Wow! This was a success! I love them!

This one is my favorite

'Cuz who doesn't want bacon on their mail?...

...or pie?

All in all, a great success. Stay tuned for more Pinterest Done-Its. (original pin below)

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Introducing the Electrician joke (a.k.a.) Lightbulb Jokes 2.0

Introducing the Electrician joke: a new take on the infamous lightbulb joke.

How many ___ does it take to contact the Electrician?

Catholics: Who knows? They're still in Purgatory trying to figure that out.

Charismatics: Who knows? The verdict is out on whether or not He'll hear their tent meeting.
Unitarians:  "We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for an Electrician. However, if in your own journey you have found that He works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your Electrician, and present it next month at our annual Electrician Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of electricity traditions, including batteries, wiring, or abandoning in favors of campfires,  all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence."

Calvinists: None.The Electrician has predestined when the electricity will come on.

Methodists: Undetermined. It depends on whether the electricity is strong, weak, or is completely out.

Baptists: Who knows? They're still trying to decide if Mrs. Jones really believes in the Electrician or is just pretending to get them off her back.

Jehovah Witnesses: Who knows? The bicycle repair man is out of town for the weekend, so they can't ride over to get Him.

Evolutionists: What Electrician? That lightbulb evolved there.

Existentialists: None. They would rather  observe how the light bulb itself  symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a cosmos of  nothingness.

Quakers: Undetermined: So far, all they've done is sit around in circle and wait for Him to show up.

Evangelicals: None, They ask for help and then read the instructions and proceed to rewire the building themselves.

Neo-Evangelicals: They don't even know they're in the dark.

Nazerenes: None. They discovered that it could be renewed by a second blessing.

Lutherans: None. By the time they realize they need Him, He's already there. 

Camp counselors: The verdict is still out on if the first "Person-in-need-of-an-Electrician's Prayer" they prayed last year is sufficient, otherwise they'll have to resort to praying it again harder, committing to read their contract every day, or coming to camp next year to teach little children to spend the rest of their lives asking the same question.

Believers in Eternal Security: If you really meant it last time you called, then there's no need.

Church of God: The signs are there that He is just around the corner already.

Mennonite: They're not really sure who their Electrician is, but if they seclude themselves from the rest of the world, refuse to do anything that might be considered improper, and follow all the instructions in the manual, He may decide to come.

Restorationists: Well, the important thing is that no one else on this list has called the right Electrician for over 2,000 years!

Foursquare Gospel: Who knows? They're not sure on the details of their Electrician, but as long as everyone calls a vague idea of the same one, let's go tell the world more about Him!

Born Again: Who knows? They may or may not have communicated intense enough for Him to come.