I am not worth your time...
... I'm not!
Now, before you protest, just hear me out.
I may look like a really nice person who has it all together and will always be an awesome friend. I may seem like I'm super loyal and will always stick with you. Yeah... nope...
Honestly, I am super duper selfish. Most of the time, all I care about is me.
I'm not on Facebook to help you. I'm on Facebook to feel good about myself. 99% of the time, I scroll right past your statuses about how you're hurting or need help to find some dumb 50 second video about dogs "talking".
I'm not a good listener. The whole time you're talking about your issues, my mind is wandering to what outfit I'm going to wear tomorrow, why in the world I ordered that coffee, or how I can help you fix your problems cuz... well... I'm just that smart.
Loyal? HA! I spend most of my days wishing I had better friends when there are friends galore to choose from right in front of me. I leave people who have only slightly disappointed me in the dust to pursue the new "shiny" friend who may meet up to my ridiculously high standard of impossible perfection.
It's not like I actually take the time to keep up on everyone's lives... The only thing I'm "up on" is the newest trend on Pinterest.
I am NOT worth your time. I will fail you. I will hurt you. I will disappoint you. No, I don't do those things on purpose... but I'm such a screw-up that being friends with me means these things will happen. Ask the people close to me. They're the ones I've hurt the most. They KNOW I am no worth it.
No, this is not a pity party where I am seeking validation in a crazy not-so-veiled attempt to receive compliments. Yes, I do have a point.
When we really look at ourselves... are any of us worth anyone's time? I mean, come on. Don't tell me you've never hurt anyone, or acted selfishly. We all have. And who's to say you won't again?
No one... not one of us... is worthy of love from someone else. And yet... people still do. Why?
Maybe because it's not about worth. Maybe it's not about what we do right or what we do wrong or how many times we've hurt someone. Maybe... it's about something more.
One could argue many different things for that "something more". Me? I love because He first loved me. Me: the worst of all sinners and hopeless beyond belief... and yet He loved me enough to die for me. Not because of anything I had done, but simply because He loved me.
Please! If you hear anything, hear this! I broke His heart. I stomped on His love, spit in His face, walked away from Him so many times I was, by anyone else's standards, beyond forgiveness. It was my hate and selfishness that nailed Him to that Cross and caused Him to die. It was my treachery and foolishness that seperated Him from His Father for the first time since the Creation of the world. And... yet... He still loved me. He still forgave me. And... He did the same for you who believe on His name.
Why do I bring up this "old story". Because I see many Christians today posting and liking pictures or statuses similar to the picture at the beginning of this article. One day, one of Jesus' Apostles was particularly frustrated with someone, as we would put it: "pissed off". And he asked Jesus, "How many times do I have to forgive someone?... 7 times" Jesus said, "70 times 7." meaning not 490 times, but unconditionally. Then, Jesus told this story:
What would have happened to us if Jesus had said such things? Thankfully, He didn't. He has promised forgiveness unconditionally to us through the Cross.
That is what real friendship looks like.
May we all desire and learn to be more like Him.